Real Talk 123

Somewhere between facetious alley and honesty pavilion, but right off optimism street.

October 22, 2014
by Alesia
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5 Reasons why you should participate in cuffin season

Cuffin Season 2014

It’s that wonderful time of year when fall fashion is on the streets. You aren’t sweating out your perm or blow-out on the way to work. DC street cleaning is about to be over. Pineapples and grapes are in season. Oh! And cuffin season is here!

This is that magical time of year when even the biggest commitmentphobe you know is ferociously on the prowl for someone to spend the chilly nights together, someone to sleep in with Sunday mornings, and a person to link up with for take-out on lazy snow days.

I’d like to fashion myself as a relationship girl, but with 5 solid years of non exclusive dating under my belt, it is becoming harder to make that case.

Cuffin season is a relatively new thing in the dating scene and I’d say it was birthed around 2008 after the economic crisis. It spread like wildlfire after the historic #Snowpocalypse in 2010 and cemented last year with the #polarvortex. Commitmentphobes found themselves looking for companionship while their relationship obsessed friends hibernated until spring. With the bars dead and clubs all but abandoned, what’s a single person to do. Netflix is an option, but you can’t have sex with Netflix and it won’t keep you warm at night. Something had to be done…

Cuffin season was birthed! A short description of cuffin season would be this:

When it starts getting cold outside. Single people start to pair up and begin to bond. This bond is relatively tight until about February and then slows to a full stop by April (when the weather becomes warmer).

Now that you know what Cuffin Season is and it’s history, let’s examine why you should participate.

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October 8, 2014
by Alesia
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To people who don’t “date”

I was recently talking to a friend of mine about dating. I spent the larger part of my 23-24 self dating. When I say dating I mean DATING.

Dating: (Verb) The early stage of courtship characterized by hanging out with an individual. The setting could be a restaurant, movie theater, park, or with other friends. The setting isn’t as important as the fact that both individuals have a mutual romantic curiosity about the other. This is not serious. I repeat: THIS IS NOT SERIOUS. See: exclusive dating.

I had my online dating profile, yeah I said it, and I was going out 2-3 times a week minimum. The prospect of “adult” dating outside of a college setting was exciting. Living in a major city also makes dating even more fun. You can try out new restaurants and meet people who are new to the area in a variety of occupations.

I was most excited about figuring out what I wanted in a perspective long-term “mate.” So, back to my friend I was talking with: Long story short, I was asking her about dating and she quickly exclaimed, “I don’t date.”

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August 28, 2014
by Alesia
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To a Girl Who Was Once My Friend

As an only child I hold my friendships very close to me. My mother always said that Cancers hold a grudge. She told me that I don’t forgive people as easily as I should. Well, she is probably right.

I was privileged to have such a large group of girlfriends in college. As an only child I wanted to leave school with sisters, and I thought I did. Through a series of unfortunate events we have ended up in a strange place…

I believe in Girl Code, and the cardinal rule is: you don’t date/sleep with your friend’s exes! The rule is simple. It isn’t hard to follow. Not only is it hurtful, it is disgusting.  Like, it is actually gross.

What makes it worse is when other friends actually know about it… Leaving the victim in the dark.

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April 23, 2014
by Alesia
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Gearing up for Eurovision 2014 in America

You’d probably think that I as an American I wouldn’t care about Eurovision. But, I think it is the greatest idea ever and super cool. It’s basically the Olympics meets X-Factor- so it’s my dream. It was created as a diplomatic endeavor to bring Europe together with music. I wish we had it in America I mean, that’s a competition I could actually participate in.

Although the the creation of the competition came from a good place, apparently their are still “politics” at play. The UK feels like the rest of Europe is still mad at them for helping out Bush (not the US, George Bush) in Iraq. For those people still mad, please get over it. This is a competition about music, like you’re punishing the songwriters and singers for a politician’s mistake? Puh leezzz.

This year is going to be interesting. I feel like the country’s are playing with different genres, from R&B to country; house music may be taking a back seat this year. Hopefully those who decided to take a slight risk will find themselves in the final. Here are this year’s entries categorized in my own special way.

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April 1, 2014
by Alesia
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I’m a Black Catholic

Yes, I’m a Christian.
Yes, I like the pope.
Yes, I read The Bible.
Yes, I’ve been on a retreat.
Yes, I was baptized as a baby.
Yes, I listen to gospel music.
Yes, I’ve been to a baptist church.
Yes, I’m okay with people being gay.
Yes, I’m okay with birth control and abortion.

No, I was never told by any Catholic leaders that the above things were wrong to answer, “yes” to.

Guess what, I was raised Catholic- and I’m happy I was. Even now, there is no other religious ideology I identify with more than Catholicism. Look, I’m not saying that Catholicism is -the way the truth and the light for you. But, for me it is.

I grew up Catholic. My mother went to Catholic school up until college, and my grandmother attended Catholic school for high school. I attended Catholic school, from middle through high school. I attended church every Sunday and there was no question that on vacation, we were sure to find a Catholic church in the area. Before I delve in I wanted to make sure that you had some context with my upbringing.

The bulk of my family isn’t Catholic. My “family church” is actually a Baptist church. So every family reunion ended with us celebrating reunion at a Baptist church service. I’ve been to Jewish, Lutheran, Assemblies of God, Episcopal, and Protestant services. I had the privilege of studying different religions in my Catholic school, and the education was eye-opening. I’ve never felt pressured to practice  a certain faith by the Catholic leaders in my life.

So here is what prompted me to write this blog.

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