Real Talk 123

Somewhere between facetious alley and honesty pavilion, but right off optimism street.


November 22, 2015
by Real Talk

Queer Dating in DC

Queer-Dating-in-DCSo many fish in the sea

“It’s too small.” That is what my friend said when I asked her about the dating scene in DC. I couldn’t disagree more. Okay, DC is a small city, but let’s be real– it could be WORSE. It could be so much worse. When I got out, I at least feel like I have a selection– and I’m PICKY!

What do you do?

Hetero, Homo, Queer, Trans, Pan… No matter who you ask, they will probably sum up dating in DC with those 4 words. WHAT. DO. YOU. DO…

It’s a simple question that can open up a whole new world. It can say so much about a person, and yet nothing at all…

But I have some breaking news for you…

Dating in DC is AWESOME! No where else in the continental United States can you have the conversations we have, the diversity, and the overall quality… Of course dating in the queer people of color “scene” is limiting. Queer dating as a whole in DC is a smaller pool, but I argue that the quality and quantity in the area makes it one of the best cities in the US the be Queer and dating. Even the data proves that singles in the city are pretty content.

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November 12, 2015
by Real Talk

Breaking up with someone you weren’t with

When you are dating, things can get a little complicated. Being “out” and dating women has not made things easier.

It was a relationship that lasted about as long as my gel nails lasted. She was older, thus more mature and experienced (so I thought). I was young, open-minded andUgh-Face-Queer-Dating not having the highest of expectations. Things were progressing quite well. I met 2 of her friends she met 2 of mine. We had 2 sleepovers, but she hadn’t seen my house. We were getting to know each other- Nothing serious, nothing heavy…

Then she broke up with me… Continue Reading →


November 9, 2015
by Real Talk

Just because I’m dating a woman doesn’t mean she can’t be an asshole

“I had a really great time tonight.”

“Yeah, I really like you.”

“We should do this again.”

“You want to get together next Tuesday?”

“Sounds great, text me when you get home.”—

TEXT MESSAGE (2 hours later): I hate to do this. I had a great time, but I don’t know if I’m ready for anything serious. I know I said I was but… I’m just not ready.

REPLY: We just started dating, I’m still getting to know you.

TEXT MESSAGE: I just don’t think I’m ready and you seem like you’re ready for something serious.

REPLY: You’re the one who got mad when you found out I was dating other people…

(No response)Shocked-Face-Surprised

So you don’t have anything to say? You made me cut off everyone else just to turn around and basically dump me… I was shocked, talk about mixed signals…

I can’t list how many times my straight friends have said that it must be easier dating women. Guess what? It’s harder. It’s way harder.

Continue Reading →


October 30, 2015
by Real Talk

Can I say, “Hi” without having to meet your girlfriend?

Let me start off by saying that Tinder is the devil. Look, I have a love hate relationship with the swiping App.

  1. You will at some point run into the people you’ve either swiped right or left on in public.
  2. So many people are up there swiping right and matching and not trying to follow-up with said action. (aka will swipe right and NEVER message you)
  3. Not everyone I swipe right on I’m trying to date… Some people just seem like cool possible friends.

Now that I got that out of the way,  let me tell you what happened to me. I’m going to drop in some Gifs with this blog because I am serious about this topic. I was at a “girl party”. I was having a great time with my friends. I was mixing and mingling.

Full disclosure: I’m not really “into” dating right now. However, I am VERY INTO making new friends.

So I approach a girl I matched with on Tinder like a year ago… I said, “Hey! I actually sort of know you.” I was with a friend when I approached and not alone. She asks me from where… In my mind, I’m thinking: bitch you know good and GOTDAMN well where I’ve seen you from. So I said it out loud. I laughed and replied, “Well… actually Tinder. Crazy.” I continue laughing… In my mind we can both laugh about how awkward the app is and chat about the event.

She replies, “That must have been a long time ago.”

I laughed, “Oh yeah… it was.” I’m thinking some small talk about the event will ensue or she may just not say anything else giving me the clue that she doesn’t really want to chat. Either scenario would have been fine.

She replies, “This is my girlfriend{INSERT NAME HERE}”


I shake said girlfriend’s hand and walk away… I was confused. Was it something said? Can I say, “Hi” without having to meet your girlfriend?

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October 20, 2015
by Real Talk

Do you have a case of the “dirty singles”?

Guess what? Not all lesbians want to move in after the second date. Guess what? There are a lot of LGBTQ singles out there that still get “shamed” by their couple friends…

Being shamed for something that isn’t quite a choice is never fun. Yes, I’d love to be in a relationship, but guess what!? I’m not. So stop reminding me about how I have to spend my rainy Friday nights watching, “The L Word” on Netflix alone…

It’s been years, years… Since I’ve been in a committed serious relationship. Put down the Kleenex. I’ve cried enough about my situation, I’m not crying anymore. At this point, I’m beyond jaded. At this point, I have my money and empty boxes to keep me warm at night and I’m okay with that.

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